Play Ball!

I love this time of year. Ball Season. Maybe it's because I grew up around so many die-hard Cardinals fans, maybe because I have so many memories of my own childhood softball summers, or maybe I'm just a sucker for a boy in a baseball uniform!

He does look handsome after all!

Proposal

I love it when I catch a glimpse of my son's tender heart. Tonight the whole family went shopping together at J.C. Penny. We stopped by the jewelry department for Big Sister, and a round stand of boxed rings caught Little Mister's eye. He was SO excited to see so many rings, and at first, I couldn't understand why. After examining a few one at a time, he spun around, looked up at me with excitement in his blue eyes and proclaimed, "This is the perfect ring to give my bride when I'm big!" I was so stunned as I realized why he's been so happy to see the ring display. His use of the term "Bride" made me tear up a bit, and just his anticipation of marriage truly made my heart swell.

I've always impressed upon my children that marriage is not the only plan God lays before his children. I've talked with all of them about the possibility of being called to religious life or simply to live single in order to serve God in a special way. My sweet Little Mister had never faltered in his desire to be a husband and daddy. His mind is often consumed with the steps he must take in order to be ready to lead a family, and I'm coming to realize that marriage and fatherhood seems to be written in his heart.

Our home contains its share of disagreements, and snide remarks are, unfortunately, tossed between my husband and I from time to time. I'm so thankful that God allowed me this opportunity to see that my husband and I are living an example of marriage that our 5 year old sees as exciting and important and a PRIVILEGE. He watches my husband work so hard for us and notices that Daddies should get down and play with their kids. When he thinks about what career he'd like to have, his concern is always his ability to be a good daddy with his job.

Standing in that department store watching my son kneel down on one knee, box held in front of him and ask, "Will you marry me?" with a huge grin on his face, I was in awe of the child in front of me, so grown up in just five years. How precious and fleeting is the gift of parenthood.

Seeking Direction

Laying beside my sleeping husband a couple nights ago, my mind was wandering aimlessly, noting the to-do's of the next day, wondering about the changes ahead of us, and finally mulling over what on earth to do about our son. Abruptly, I remembered unpacking books from the final moving boxes the week before, in particular, The Power of a Praying Parent. I felt compelled to retrieve the book right then, but the fear of being too tired to mother in the morning kept me under the covers, as if that's a valid reason to resist the nudging of God.

Tonight, I sat down in the midst of the day's aftermath and opened the cover for the first time since Big Sister was a toddler. I dredged through the typical first chapter introduction, wondering if I'd be able to focus long enough to get to the meat of it. After pages of preparation scattered with scripture, I prayed the chapter's concluding prayer and meditated momentarily over the words.

Then my worries, guilt, frustrations, anger, ignorance, and lack of direction came pouring out jumbled and precise, beautiful and disgusting. I prayed for my son in a way that I never have, adding another guilt to unload through my prayer. I sat by his bed with my hand on his back, offering my son's life and my parenting for the glory of God. I cried a storm of silent tears sitting there with my hand on his little back.

Almost instantaneously, God directed me back to His path. The path that was familiar not so long ago seems so uncomfortable in this moment. Where I was wandering aimlessly through our days, our life, my son was following diligently. Oh, how I pray that he follows me as I struggle to get back on God's track with my mothering!

Pour our your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your little ones. (Lamentations 2:19)

Slip of the Tongue

Little Mister is a pretty smart cookie, but he's like all kids- sometimes he gets his words a little mixed up. He used to say bana instead of banana... you know, like all little ones. I know that I'll cary one such slip of the tongue as a cherished memory, and I'll be a little sad when he finally gets it right. See, Little Mister can't quite grasp the concept of the 'w' in wife. Instead, he says life. The replacement of one tiny letter makes me smile and reflect on marriage every time the word comes into his 4-year-old conversations.

After Aunt Amanda accepted her boyfriend's marriage proposal, Little Mister said with great excitement, "Mamma, now Dan will finally have a life!"

Hilarious, yes, but other times, like today, he talks about his daddy. He says something like, "Mamma, I'm so glad that you married Daddy and became Daddy's life." Yes, son. Me too. I'm eternally grateful to have a husband who really does make me his LIFE.

And sometimes he's just cute. Sometimes he'll talk about growing up and getting married. And when he does, I always point out that God might want him to be a priest or single when he grows up. And inevitably, he says, "But Mom, I want to have a life!" And then we get to talk about the incredible life of a priest and the unique abilities possessed by those called to the single life.

Whenever we talk about wives, no matter how hard I'm laughing, I'm compelled to say a quick, silent prayer that he lives as if the two words truly have the same meaning. I pray that, should he be called to marriage, he makes his wife his life... a life centered around and enveloped by God's love.

Still Fumbling Blindly and Prayerfully through Tween Parenting

Big Sister came home with a small, black, velvet box today. From a boy I've never heard about (and I hear about the boys, let me tell ya). Inside was a set of earrings and a matching brooch. It looked like it could've come from one of the Wal-Mart displays. The cubic zirconia ones, not the under-lock-and-key kind.

My first reaction is to share in her excitement. I listened to her tell the story of how this boy presented her with the box on the playground at recess. I listened to her tell me that her teachers all said it was pretty. I acknowledged how exciting is must've been to receive a gift like this. And then I ask her if she thinks she should accept it. And that's when I turn from fun mom to rain-on-my-parade mom.

In my mind, I'm thinking, "what if the kid took this from his mother's jewelry box..."

"How could these teachers act like this is amazing? Oh yeah, they aren't here to teach my faith. That was our last school. Bummer..."

"How hard is it going to be on this kid to have his gift returned..."

"How difficult will it be for Big Sister to return it..."

"What kind of parent lets a 9-year-old give real jewelry? They can't know about this..."

"What happened to wanting to Big Sister wanting to watch her friends make dumb decisions about boys..."

"Oh, CRAP!"

And so we talk about how jewelry is a bit too grown up for 4th grade. And how if we're in a hurry to experience the excitement of stuff meant for us when we're older, then when we're older, we might find other things to be excited by that aren't so good. And she tells me that she just wants to go with the flow. And I tell her that we can rarely do that and still follow what God wants us to do. And she seems to get that. But she still doesn't like the thought of giving the jewelry back.

You see, I'm the mom who wouldn't allow my daughter to attend the 4th and 5th grade dance, where the boys were asking the girls to be their dates. Because, seriously, they can't just throw a party- why do they have to make it cool to act old?

Am I being too harsh? Setting myself up for a daughter who doesn't confide in me? Perhaps. But I'm not about to be one of those moms who acts like her daughter can do no wrong. One of those moms who acts like her daughter knows more at ten than herself at 30-something (or 20-something in my case). I'm going to be the kind of mom who is clear about her beliefs and opinions. I'm going to parent so that Big Sister can look back when she's in her teens and 20's and know what her Mamma would say. I'm going to be consistent to my beliefs, because there is, in my opinion, no place more important (and sometimes painful) to stand up for what I believe than in parenting.

Is it Just Me...

Or could this kid be a model for eyeglasses?

I thought I was a sucker for a man in specs, but I had no idea how deep this love ran until today!

Maybe it's because boys in glasses are more cautious, less aggressive (because Mommies like me are paranoid about having to pay for replacements)

Maybe they have a stronger sense of responsibility grown from years of caring for a valuable accessory.

Or maybe boys in glasses are just plain adorable, goofiness and squirreliness and all!

Opposite of Serious

While working on opposites with Little Mister today:

"If you're not dirty you're..."

"Clean!"

"If you're not loud you're..."

"Quiet!"

"If you're not sleeping you're..."

"You'll be tired FOREVER!"

Not the Typical Childhood Hero

My son loves all the typical boy characters- transformers, Disney's Cars characters, Handy Manny, Super Why... all the shows that sell action figures in department stores. However, his longest running and greatest hero is THE NUTCRACKER. From the time that Big Sister showed him Barbie and the Nutcracker, Little Mister has adored the story. From the showdown between the mice and the toy soldiers to the gentlemanly care that Nutcracker takes with Clara, my little boy doesn't miss a beat. He begs Big Sister to play the part of Clara and asks her with a great bow, "May I have this dance?" You will not find this boy play fighting as a G.I. Joe or the like. Instead, he can be found, "sword" in hand, warding off a make-believe mouse.

This year, MY favorite christmas present was from my big sister. It did not cost her a dime but it was invaluable to Little Mister and I. Aunt J gave us 2 tickets to watch the St. Louis Ballet perform The Nutcracker. She'd received them from an event that she attended.

When I asked him if he's like to watch the ballet on stage, Little Mister told me yes, "but don't say it's a date, Mom."

On the night of the performance, we arrived at the performing arts center and picked out ornaments to take back to the girls, met a couple mice who were greeting the kids, and found our amazing seats! I knew one of two things would happen when the curtain opened. Either he'd be completely amazed or he'd be throwing a fit and demanding that this was NOT the real Nutcracker! Praise the Lord, he was enthralled. He sat, motionless, on the edge of his seat for the entire first act, whispering to me what was happening as the ballet progressed. I was impressed that he was able to follow the plot so easily!

After the final curtain call, Little Mister got to meet Clara and Nutcracker.

I must've shown him a pretty good time, because on the way home, he said, "Mommy, will you be my date again someday?" Ah... Heaven to my heart!

Thanks for stopping by,

Proactive Parenting

Oh, boy. Today was just one of those days! Little Mister was an angel while we took Great-Grandma shopping, but this afternoon, it was as if he morphed into Dennis the Menace. Really. I felt just like Mr. Wilson, only my Dennis came equipped with screams, hateful yelling, and tears. First a refusal to buckle into his car seat, then a horrible display at martial arts, and just before bed an attempt to swing from the one set of curtains I've hung in my house. I was in rare form today as a result. I'm really out of ideas with this one. We've tried spanking, time out, consequences that fit the misbehavior (draw on sister's walls = no longer allowed in sister's room), the big scary mommy voice, manual labor, talking about why the action is wrong... I've pretty much decided that I'm just not doing enough proactive parenting. I think this one just needs way more hands-on attention than Big Sister did. I'm going to do my best to focus on playing with him more, involving him in my household duties, and generally keeping him busy. After all, idle hands....