My Girls

My Mamma was telling me today about a new friend of hers who invited her to go shopping. And I thought, "I wonder if I'll ever be invited to do things with new girls in my life..."

And then I remembered that right now, the main girls in my life are 2 and 9.

And I remembered that at my age, my mom was doing what I'm doing now- throwing herself into parenting. And as much as we all need friends, my priceless few are more than enough sustenance for me in these parenting years... But it's nice to see my mom with an active social life. It makes me more content to focus on my family rather than my social life. Because there really will be time for that later.

Falling Upward

When I started this blog in March of last year, I expected to be able to vent about parenting, reflect about the lessons my children taught me, and remember the silliness that they created in my daily life. I expected to offer insight and seek the same from others. What I didn't expect, was to meet other women and grow to cherish our blogging relationship just like a friend who is physically near. I didn't expect to find God so evident in this little cyber community.

Holly at FALLING UPWARD is one of those dear Blog Friends who reminds me each time she posts how incredible life is when it is given to God. She is one who I find myself thinking about and praying for while I'm driving, cooking, or taking a walk... not just while I'm reading her blog. I can count on her for prayers and such genuine encouragement even from so far away.

I honestly couldn't remember how I was first introduced to Holly. I had to dive through both our archives to find out who said hello first and why. The first post I read at Falling Upward was a Daybook entry I discovered randomly through the widget for this meme. Since then, she's lived through more than her share of worry and heartache. Through everything, her beautiful way with words and thoughtful reflections about her life's joys and trials have been so very inspiring to me.

I'm learning that blogging isn't all about gaining readership for advertising, and it isn't even just about documenting my life. It's not solely about finding new ideas, giveaways, or great coupons. It's a chance to find other moms who share my faith and are in the same place in life. It's about getting to know more seasoned mommies who can pass down their wisdom and offer encouragement and prayers. It's a way to connect with women who can remind me to keep hold of myself while I'm being a wife and mother. For me, the blog world is an opportunity for God to work in my life and through my life. And Miss Holly was the start of that epiphany!

If you haven't stumbled upon FALLING UPWARD, it will do your heart good to visit and see why Holly, from Her Very First Post, Inspires me.

Friends... or not

Have you ever wondered why someone doesn't like you? Maybe she seemed to at first. Maybe he never did. But whatever the circumstance, it's evident that there is clearly a negative opinion of you with no obvious reason behind it.

I find this truly frustrating.

And unfair.

Because I think everyone should have the opportunity to defend or explain themselves.

Because I think everyone should have the opportunity to grow and change.

A Sticky Situation

A friend of mine called me a couple days ago and invited me to make the 2 hour trip to the city. We took her daughter, my 3 year old son, and my 19 month old daughter (who went home with Daddy after he got off work downtown).

At Kohl's, we selected a double shopping stroller, and the kids climbed inside. It wasn't the triple disappearing act that my son performed that make me share this story, nor was it his successful attempt to sneak his hand out and knock an entire shelf of folded T-shirts to the floor.

Just as we were about to make our purchases, the dear girl mummbled something about gum, and I noticed a thick string of neon green in my son's white-blonde hair. He reached up and felt it at the same moment, and I watched a lower lip protrude, eyes widen, then,

"OOOOOOO!!!!! She put gum in my hair!!!"

Into the bathroom we went to attempt to dislodge the gluey mess McGiver style. I was somewhat successful. My hairdresser mom couldn't even tell where I had cut the gum out (she said it must've been the long spot she'd been meaning to trim), and I learned two lessons.

Be thankful for friends who are there to share even the stickiest situations, and
never leave home without a jar of peanut butter!"

Starbuck's Surprise

Normally I'm expecting packages before they arrive on my doorstep, so when the postman drives down my driveway unexpectedly, my first reaction is to brace myself for whatever letter I might be signing for.  That's the life with a custody arrangement!  Today when the postman drove up and honked his horn (side note- since when do they honk and summon you out to their car door? Bizarre!), I was met with a big yellow DHL box.  My first thought: "Oh crap, what crazy online offer did I get myself into?"  Inside my house, I'm trying to examine the package to see if I need to "return to sender" it, and I find the return address label- Dusseldorf, Germany!

A couple weeks ago, my dear friend had asked for my address, I assumed to maybe send a card for my upcoming birthday or Mother's Day.  I should have known better than to expect the expected in this case.  That's one of the things I love about this friend!  

When I opened the package, there's no note, only a huge lump of brochures of some kind- in German of course... All I know is that there's a giraffe on the front and it doesn't appear to be from a zoo.  Hilarious replacement for bubble wrap and half the fun of the package!  THEN... I get to the center of the wrapping... 

YAY!  I'm so excited to not only have a Starbuck's city mug from Germany to add to my collection, but from the city where my friend now lives!  And it couldn't have come at a better time- a time where I needed a little simple pleasure!  

Thanks again, science fair partner!  I can't wait to catch up in a few weeks!

A Little More Girl Time

Before my hubby leaves for 2 weeks with the military, he let me have one last night to savor adult conversation.  Yesterday was a blast, full of good food, good laughs, good conversation, and a fantastic friend!  

A visit to Kimswick, MO treated us to the best salad ever at The Blue Owl.  I had taken Little Miss along, and I realized while we were eating how limited my one-on-one time with her is.  She was more conversational and sweeter than normal.  Sharing my salad with her was such a simple moment, but one that I made sure to record the details of into my heart.

We traveled downtown to drop my daughter off with Daddy, and we had just enough time to hit a couple stores before heading to the theatre for Dr. Laura's show.  What a great 90 minutes!  I wasn't sure what to expect from her one woman show, but it was a balance of silliness, humor, advice, relating with a dash of sadness.  The show left me feeling content which, I'm sure, was the intention behind it.  

To wrap up the night, we split a delicious dish at the Cheesecake Factory and gabbed over coffee and cheesecake.  I think I'll always feel happy after a late-night visit with a friend.  Some schoolgirl memories are worth repeating.

Recharge brought to me by Super-Hubby!

Tomorrow I get to go shopping child free!  Even better, I get to go with a girlfriend!  I am SO excited about not having to favor stores with carts, being able to cary a purse instead of stuffing my id and debit card into my pocket to save hands, and not having to yell over whining in the car. 

I am truly blessed to have a husband who gets that I need to recharge my batteries every so often.  Seriously, when was the last time you moms left the house alone?  If it's been a while, sweet talk your hubby, and make some time for yourself this weekend!

Rare and Valuable

I don't have many intimate friends. It's not that I don't have opportunities to cultivate friendships. The wives of my husband's married friends and the moms in my community are wonderful women. The other mothers at my daughter's school are fantastic as well and welcomed me into their community from day one. Many women that I've known since childhood are women I still catch up with on occasion. I love and appreciate these women for their roles in my life. I would extend a helping hand or a listening ear to any of them. I go shopping, share lunch, and swap stories, but it often ends there. I don't have many, but I'm thankful for my ability to invest time and love into my small circle of true confidants.

Friendships are tough. Finding someone who gets you- your values, weaknesses, quirkiness, shaded past- is hard! Finding someone you can respect for who she is can be equally difficult. Factor in God's timing, and conceiving a true friendship is almost as much a miracle as conceiving a baby! Once a true friend is found, intimacy in that friendship is a lot like intimacy in marriage. It is a two-way street built on grounds free from selfishness, condemnation, or jealousy. Should any of those factors sneak into a relationship, it will never be the same. An intimate friendship cannot exist unless both women respect, trust, and appreciate each other.

Now, that is not to say for a second that we are not allowed to disagree or disapprove of the actions of our friends. In fact, friendship relies on respectfully spoken disapproval to some degree. A woman has to be willing to nudge a wacky friend back into sane mind and at the same time be open to being nudged out of craziness herself. An intimate friend is one whose values are respected so much that her opinion of your decisions can be trusted and considered defenselessly.

If this posts makes choosing friends sound like choosing a spouse- it should! However, unlike a spouse, I believe that God places friends in our lives, and sometimes He leads them away or changes the dynamics of a friendship according to His will. Your friends will influence your personality, your marriage, your finances, your CHILDREN. Heaven knows we should choose wisely, thinking with our minds and our prayers more than our emotions.

Stray Thought

I love, love, love when my friends have babies!  I haven't been blessed with any nieces and nephews yet (which is a good thing because my sisters and brother aren't married), so I fully appreciate having little ones to play with and without having to worry too much about disciplining or any of the other not-so-fun stuff that comes with being mom.