Last Day of July and School Plans

I cannot believe that July is over! We started the first day of the month with our staffing interview, and our new daughter is sleeping in her bed here as we roll into August.

Our life continues to unfold, slowly but surely. Miss A has been here nearly every day since she met the kids last Sunday. Tonight is her second overnight visit. She seems to be doing really well, and my biggest concern is how crazy Noah and Miriam are making her. Those two have been maniacs when A has been here- LOTS of negative attention seeking going on around here! The crazy thing is that as soon as she went back to her foster home on Monday, they made a complete turn around and were best friends for the rest of the day. I'm doing my very best to be patient yet firm and to give both littles as much individual attention as possible. Honestly, though, I'm barely keeping my head above water. There are moments where A is able to see Noah and Miriam as the sweet siblings they are, and I am thankful for the few glimpses that she has had.  I'm just not sure how to navigate everything. It seems nearly impossible to juggle everyone right now. We are trying to get to know our new daughter and allow her to know us as parents. Simultaneously, we need to give the kids time to get acquainted and also nurture and reassure the bios. It is a crazy mess!

Mr. J will have his first overnight visit this weekend. His meet the kids day last weekend was pretty calm, and everything really seemed completely natural. Noah and Miriam were vastly different than they were with A. I think the reason may be that J was more interested in playing with the kids, and A is more interested in being around Amos and I. Maybe there is more parent sharing with A and less of a  play date atmosphere.

In just eleven days, the school year will begin for three of our kids. A few days later, Mr. J will begin his year, still with his foster parents, and Miriam will enter the small Catholic school a town over from us. The classes there are blissfully small. The 6 kids in her grade will be paired with the second graders, and the entire classroom will be less than a dozen kids. There are only about 30 kids in the entire school. I could not be more thrilled with the path that God has provided for my youngest child. She is ecstatic about attending Mass with her class, and she is slowly coming around to the idea of dress codes.

With all five kids in school, I hope we'll be able to settle into a routine and find out what the new dynamics of our family will be. I'm trying to move forward with little expectations, but over and over I start to make assumptions.  There is a constant need to hand my family over to God. I have to remind myself that I am powerless without Him. But with Him, amazingly beautiful things are possible!

Educating... At Home.

 I've been avoiding this post... 

As if our life wasn't already filled with constant change, God threw another curve ball at us two weeks ago. I am a full time teacher again, and in the last way I ever imagined. Our sweet Miriam has had a heck of a year in kindergarten. We had a couple blissful weeks in August, and then we watched as our gal struggled with the rigor and structure of kindergarten. I watched my daughter, who was joyful and who flourished in preschool, flounder in her new environment. In the second semester, she started learning new information that I never would have imagined could come from a kindergarten kid. She was told she should start smoking. She learned vulgar language. She had a child show her rolling papers and a ziplock of a substance that Miriam described as PopRocks. The child had snuck it from his parents and told her how to smoke it.

She- we- just couldn't do it anymore.

It absolutely tore me to shreds to sit with her teacher and tell her that we were going to see how homeschooling worked. She spent the year investing in my sweet girl and pouring everything she had into ensuring that Miriam was successful in school. I hated telling her that, after nine months of effort and worry and love, we were walking away. Who am I kidding? I hated that we were walking away. It was terrifying, and I was nauseous with self-doubt for days. I still am at times. It was possibly the hardest thing I've done as a parent, most definitely the most difficult decision we've had to make for Miriam.

So here we sit, two weeks into our homeschool life. To my surprise, Miriam has been a great student most of the time. She works hard and truly enjoys what we are doing together. She's reading for me, something that I hadn't been able to get her to do without a fight. We've done science experiments, met authors and illustrators, and attended play groups. We've attended Mass with at the nearby Catholic school and watched their kindergartners read from the bible in front of the entire parish. We have worked on phonics, math fact fluency, and handwriting. We have learned about place value, ocean waves, and the chemistry behind lip gloss. Exercise, music, and art fill our play time. We learn in segments and take breaks as Miriam needs them. Yesterday she insisted that we continue playing with math fact families 30 minutes after I was finished with her lesson. Miriam has written and mailed letters to some of her favorite people. Khan Academy and Teachers Pay Teachers have seen  more traffic from us than ever before.

I think to myself, "why weren't you doing all of this before?" And I remember the kid I picked up from school each day. The one who was so exhausted from holding it all together that she would melt down into a tantrum before I even had a chance to feed her a snack. The one who sometimes fell asleep on the way home from school and slept straight through to bedtime. The kid who just couldn't handle the idea of another second spent learning.

Yes, there is fear and doubt. There is much for this high school English teacher to learn about early elementary education. There are failures and there are still a few tantrums. But there is magic too. There is excitement and progress and a spark of genuine love for learning that I haven't seen from Miriam- maybe ever. It is the goodness that I am clinging to.

I'm not sure what our life will look like come fall, but over the summer, I'm turning this house into a school for all three of my kiddos- and any new ones who may come along. We're going to be exploring, stretching our minds, and searching for a LOVE for learning. 

Empty Nest.. ish.

It feels CRAZY to have three kids in school. I might be sad about not being needed if I weren't so busy soaking up the silence and the luxury of cleaning my house alone. Days like these may very well be fleeting after all! 

Silly Miriam was such a trooper for the first day. She did a pretty great job of staying happy during the morning routine and was happy to pose with her Kindergarten sign before we left for school.

Miriam was sweet and excited to see her teacher when we got to her classroom, but I saw a hint of nerves under her smile. I stayed outside the room for a moment and watched her look around, take a breath, and join the other girls in their morning play time. She takes life in stride and at her own pace, and I love her for it.

Miriam and J are growing so much closer lately. It makes me happy to see J take her little sister under her wing! It's as if she turned thirteen and became this responsible young lady instead of the kid she was the day before. 

This is J's last year in middle school. I remember her first day in the building. I watched the 8th graders walk through the doors and had a little freak out moment thinking that my little girl was going to look like them in two years. And here we are. She walked through those red double doors one of the tall ones, one of the poised and confident ones. 

And then there's Noah, the goofy, determined kid who drove me crazy all summer. His hair was still wet when he buckled into the car, but his belly was full and his teeth were brushed. He walked into school with us, reciting directions to his classroom under his breath. We said goodbye by the main doors, and Noah walked off down the hallway away from the early elementary wing of the school without looking back.

These kids are my life. My love. My JOY. They might need me to be there fewer hours each day now, but they need me as much as ever. Maybe more. Now is when the parenting gets tricky. Growing up is serious business. It takes time, energy, and discipline to stay involved in my kids' lives once you're not afraid that they'll touch a hot burner or choke on their dinner. Now I have to fight the temptation to let them live alongside me instead of experiencing life with them. I struggle with that sometimes.

But right now, while we are still a five-some, I want to enjoy the simplicity and ease of living life with school-aged children. We can go more and play more. We can pack light and be spontaneous. After all, we still fit into a single hotel room. That's something worth celebrating!

Modern Day Preschools

Ok, I'm just going to rant a bit... call it frustrations from a SAHM.

I'm in the middle of the search for a preschool for Little Mister. We opted to home school this year, always with the intention of sending him to the Catholic school that Big Sister attended for six years. We truly love it there and couldn't have asked for a better foundation for her education and supplement to our religious upbringing.

Yesterday, preschool enrollment was opened to the public. I got up early, showered, did my make up, and dolled up the kids. We dropped big sister off at school, stopped by the pediatrician for shot records, and headed confidently to enroll Little Mister in the preschool program for three mornings a week. The tuition would be steep- $120/month in fact. But I felt it was worth it as we'd be introducing Little Mister to the school where he'd spend the next several years of his education. Perhaps more important, he'd be learning in an environment that shared our faith.

When I sit down to fill out the registration forms, I find no three morning option available. Huh. Only a 5 morning option for a whopping $180/month. I'm a bit thrown off and opt to write a check for a non refundable $180 to hold his spot. We visit with two of our favorite teachers, Little Mister visits the first grade classroom for a bit, and we were on our way.

Then I started to think... ponder... fester... fume. After I talked to my husband, I called to let the school know that we would not be attending preschool as they no longer offered an option that was in line with our educational needs for our kid.

Then I fumed a little more. Because here's the thing.

It is next to impossible to find a traditional preschool, at least around here. The vast majority cater to families with two employed parents and are day care/preschool combos. Not such a huge deal, right? Nope. It's a HUGE deal in this mom's opinion. You see, the entire concept behind our beloved Catholic school has been that the parents volunteer their time in order to save employment costs and keep tuition reasonable. The thing is, when the majority of the families enrolled have two employed parents, it leaves little time for volunteering. The result is increased salary costs to fill positions that would normally be filled by parent volunteers. And how does the school compensate? They have no choice but to raise tuition. If those families were choosing jobs to gain stability, I certainly wouldn't mind having to contribute more financially, but when the majority are driving luxury vehicles and living in homes that are worth four times as much as ours, I sort of want to scream. Because families like mine are helping to pay for their material goods by volunteering countless hours around the school, paying inflated tuition prices, all the while driving a car with nearly 300,000 miles. (Maybe that's just my family)

None of this bothered me when there was an option for families like mine, but now our option has been removed, and today, in this moment, I feel like we've been pushed out of our school by a huge number of two-income families. And it makes me mad, and sad. But more importantly, it makes me feel very humbled and thankful to have had the ability and priority to raise our own children full time.

Opposite of Serious

While working on opposites with Little Mister today:

"If you're not dirty you're..."

"Clean!"

"If you're not loud you're..."

"Quiet!"

"If you're not sleeping you're..."

"You'll be tired FOREVER!"

Here's Ginger!

Who says bridesmaid dresses can't be reused? Oh, yeah. Me! Today, however, Big Sister proved me wrong! She had a school assignment to dress up like a famous Missourian, and she was assigned Ginger Rogers. We looked for dance costumes, casual clothes circa 1930's and 40's, and finally settled on the most fun- Hollywood movie star. Lucky for me, I'd wanted bridesmaids dresses inspired my the 30's and 40's, and my sister's was still hanging in the closet at my mother's house! A quick hem with No Sew, a few safety pins, and finger waves created by my talented mamma, we had a Ginger look-a-like.

Big Sister was pretty resistant to getting up early to get ready and declared that she was glad that her dream wasn't to become a real movie star. But thirty minutes later, she was pretty tickled with the result of our efforts. She said she didn't recognize herself (although her brace-worthy teeth should have given her away)!

At my wedding, Big Sister, 5 years old, shaking it with MY big sister!

Ginger Rogers- the picture that convinced Big Sister that we were on the right track!

One Person's Ordinary is Another Person's Disappointment

Today Big Sister went on her first public school field trip. What was she most excited about, you might ask? Not the fact that she would be out of school for the day. Not the destination that would allow for lots of time outdoors. Not the opportunity for a day filled with socializing with friends. No, not my daughter. She was, in fact, hyperventilating about her very first ride on a school bus.

Oh yeah.

Not only was she incredibly excited about the opportunity to get crammed in a 40 foot vehicle smelling of all the post-playground sweat of 80+ kids, but she was also nervous. Big Sister was very afraid of the bullies she might encounter on said bus ride. It took a bit to help her understand that the bus rides that I refuse to send her on are the ones including students much older than her, not to mention those with considerably less supervision.

The ride proved less than romantic. Perhaps the loose tooth that she finally lost at the end of the day stole the bus ride's thunder (the tie-died tissue she was biting on was enough to distract me from my after school line of questioning... gross!). The kid gave a quick "good" and went right back to dreaming about what she'd buy with her tooth fairy money.

What's the going rate for one of those now anyway?

Buyer's Remorse??

I walked my daughter to her 4th grade classroom this morning. I'm so used to seeing first day of school pictures in dress code attire. It seemed so odd to me to polish light pink nails yesterday evening, to iron a bright orange skirt last night, to watch my daughter strap her brown sandals this morning.

At open house on Tuesday evening, I was a little saddened by the new surroundings. It should have helped that her classroom is the very same one in which I experienced my favorite teacher fifteen years ago. It should have helped that her teacher seems really nice, easy to get along with, and most importantly organized. It should have helped to read that spelling tests would be given every Friday instead of whenever it pleased the teacher. All those things helped me later, but at the time, I just saw a missing crucifix, missing prayers lining the hallways, missing statues of the Virgin Mother. I missed God being the center of this experience that will mold my daughter. I'm just not terribly confident in this change of ours. Thank the Lord that we were blessed with 6 years in our dear Catholic school. I just pray that she isn't afraid to wear her faith on her sleeve, to stand up for her beliefs and the truths that she had come to know and trust. I pray that she is equipped to handle the new experiences, backgrounds, and peers that she will meet this year.

It really is going to be a great year. The classroom is wonderful, and I've been assured by my trusted family friend who teaches in this 4th grade that Big Sister's teacher is a wonderful, Godly woman.

It's THAT Time of Year Again: Gearing up for School

We're embarking on two new education adventures this year. The first is Big Sister's switch to public education. The second is homeschooling Little Mister's first year of preschool.

I'm very anxious to find out how public education compares to parochial school.My biggest complaint about the school we left behind was that they were too slow to let poor teachers go. After all, one of the perks of private schools is that they don't have to worry about tenure. My daughter has already said she plans to bring her Catholic prayer book to school every day- and a picture of Mary for the inside of her desk. She's never been one for subtleties, a characteristic that I love about her most of the time.

So far, I'm not terribly impressed with the public school experience. I was told when I dropped my paperwork off last May that I would receive an information packet in the mail over the summer. It was to include the basic information about the school, lunches, etc., and my daughter's assigned teacher. At the end of July, no packet had arrived. I called to verify that I'd submitted all my paperwork and found out then who would be teaching Big Sister this year. Unfortunately, they'd placed her in third grade instead of fourth. Another call to the school fixed that mistake. I learned after questioning further that the school had decided not to mail information packets. Instead, they would publish it in the local paper. I would have never known had I not asked and would likely have missed open house, a night vital to kids new to the school.

Small peanuts? Maybe.

But this is my first experience with the school and does not reflect positively on their organization. I'm praying that meeting her teacher will be a more promising event!

On the flip side, I'm getting very excited to start Little Mister's preschool education! I've purchased a huge book of pre-school lessons centering around each letter of the alphabet, basic numbers, holidays, and everything between. One morning each week he will go to Grandma's for a few hours of reading and writing centered lessons, and another morning I'll work on science and math at home. Both of us will incorporate basic kindergarten readiness skills. Of course, I'll continue to teach my son constantly while we're in the car, cooking, cleaning, or playing outside. Then, we'll be attending story hour at the local library, playing on a soccer team in the fall and spring, and enrolling in martial arts school. Finally, we'll be going on our own field trips throughout the year. The best part is that with a homeschooling schedule that matches the schedule of his friends' preschools, we'll still have time for play dates! I can't wait to begin, and you can be sure to find many reflections from successful (or not so successful) lessons along the way!

A Few Final Lessons

My husband being away is bad.  I always stay up way too late and my mind wanders...

Only 6 more days until the end of the school year.  Those of you who've been readers for a while know that this year has been... less than perfect.  My daughter has been confused, I've been confused, and I'm fairly sure that the teacher has been confused a lot of the time!  Just today, she was supposed to have 2 tests, neither of which were administered.  Do we know if they have been rescheduled?  Of course not.  This is peanuts compared to some of the craziness this year.  BUT... I read a comment on a blog this evening that made me think about my role with my children.  I truly believe that my children are a direct result of my parenting.  This year, I'd give myself my daughter's current grades:  a few A's, some B's, and a few C's.  Granted, there are several big assignments left to be graded that will raise her grades to A's, B's, and only 1 C, but my grades for the year will not jump at the end of the semester like hers.  

Lesson #1: OUR CHILDREN ARE NOT REPLICAS OF OURSELVES AT THEIR AGES!  I started this school year parenting like I would have needed in 3rd grade.  Big mistake that I took too long to correct!  

Lesson #2: DON'T TRY TO CHANGE DIFFICULT PEOPLE, WORK AROUND THEM! I've always heard that you'll encounter at least one teacher who's awful, burnt out, or just clashes with your personality.  This year I had the... privilege of working with a teacher whose philosophy of education differs vastly from mine.  Did she grate on my nerves?  Oh yeah.  Did she cross several lines that I found inappropriate?  Absolutely.  However, she believed with all her heart in her teaching methods, and it took me until Christmas to give up and consider this year an obstacle in life.  

Lesson #3: THE PRINCIPAL'S JOB IS TO BACK THE TEACHER IN FRONT OF THE PARENTS. When I was teaching high school English, my principal told me that he would always defend me to the parents of my students.  Of course, he warned, he would tell me what he really thought after the parents were gone.  Thank goodness I never needed one of those lectures!  However, in my attempt to remedy some situations where I felt too much personal information was being shared in my child's classroom, I met with the principal and shared my list of concerns.  The response?  Just what I should have expected.  I was brought in for a meeting with the teacher so that she could explain her way out of each and every concern of mine.  Ugh. On the other hand, we had NO more instances of that nature after the meetings, so perhaps I accomplished what I set out to after all.  

Lesson #4: TRUST YOURSELF TO KNOW YOUR CHILD. Bless my daughter's heart, she has yet to grasp the difference between immediate gratification and long term satisfaction. I know this, have known this for years.  This year, I would spend a few weeks checking her assignment notebook obsessively and nagging her about bringing homework home for me to go over with her.  Then I would try to wean her off my guidance.  I knew good and well that she wasn't ready, that were it not for my supervision her grades would have gone to crap due to a complete lack of work.  Her grades would start to fall, and I'd pick back up again.  I'm still researching ways to teach kids about long term rewards.

There is no doubt in my mind that I have learned more this year than my sweet and high spirited daughter.  What I'm learning NOW is that we are heading to a school community that is incredibly excited to welcome my kiddo.  It's so very nice after a year of feeling like my kid is seen as a burden.  

Next Year...

A few days ago, God threw me for a loop on my decision to remove my daughter from her parochial school, but the past few days have reassured me that we will be no worse off in her new school in the fall.  

Next year, I hope to have an understanding of classroom assignments, preferably by use of a scoring guide.  This year, we've gotten lots of "write a story." assignments and then have lost points for not doing what the teacher expected.  I hope to understand the teacher's expectations next year.

Next year, I hope to have organization in the classroom.  A routine for submitting assignments, a schedule for regular assignments (like spelling tests or journals).

Next year, I hope to have a teacher who does not compare my daughter to her D student son.  I hope to have a teacher who believes that my daughter can do her best... or at least makes me believe that she believes it.  

Next year, I hope that my daughter's weakened confidence in her academic abilities is magically restored.  I hope that she has a teacher who understands the struggles of this school year and takes a heartfelt interest in scheming with me to re-inspire my daughter's love of school and learning.

Next year, I hope, it not too late.  I hope that I don't regret sticking it out where we were this year.  I hope that I don't find myself wishing I would have pulled her out after Christmas.

Next year, I hope to realize that this year was only one isolated circumstance and does not reflect what the next 9 years of schooling will be like for us.

Next year I hope my daughter has a teacher who does not find it impressive or worthwhile to take 45 minutes out of her lessons to "work out the problems" of the girls in her classroom.

Next year, I hope to be reassured that I properly discerned God's will for my daughter's education even though it means that I am removing her from her religious school.  I hope that she is able to bring the invaluable knowledge of her religion and live as an example for those who may not have been introduced to Christ.

Next year... 

ABC's of Teaching ABC's

The preschool years are probably my favorite years of parenting. The kids are still cute enough, and their brains are still largely play do, able to be molded to my liking. I've learned that as much molding as possible should be done before 6 years old because, at least for girls, attitudes start to harden those squishable blobs! One thing I've had an easy time with is teaching my kids their letters. My goal with my preschoolers is for them to recognize letters as individual characters (rather than memorizing the alphabet) and to learn the sound(s) that each makes. From there, we move to pairing two letters together and before you know it, we're beginning Dick and Jane! Here are my 4 most successful ways to teach letters.

1. Cheez-It Scrabble. My son is an eater, so anything that can feed his stomach and his mind at the same time is alright in his book. I would show him a cracker, and if he knew the letter he ate it. It not, we learn the letter along with the sound it makes and a simple word that starts wtih that letter. Given another chance to name the letter, the cracker usually ended up in his tummy.

2. The Z was Zapped, by Chris Van Allsburg. A great book where the letters are mutating and getting attacked. The images in the book are just as large as the cover, so the letters are easy to see. Whether it's a D that's drowning or an I that's being iced with icing, my kids had a great time filling in the blanks while we read this book. There's a great Teaching Guide available too!

3. Sesame Street's Do The Alphabet video is a favorite in my house, and as most Sesame segments do, this one engages children. In my house, Mommy usually has to join in the fun to keep the kids from zoning out, but as a group activity, this teaching tool is fantastic!

4. Noticing letters during car rides is a regular activity for us. Whether it's air writing a name, pointing out letters in commercial logos, or playing the alphabet game (a race to see who can find words that begin with each letter of the alphabet, in order), we're constantly using our down time in the minivan to expand our reading horizons!

I'm always on the lookout for new ideas and angles for teaching reading, so feel free to share what's worked for you and your kiddos!