Missed Respite Call and Kids Clothing Collection

Our mini getaway last weekend would've been cut short if I'd remembered to forward our phones.

One of my biggest concerns during our licensing process (which isn't really that big) was deciding which phone number to list first on our contact information. Here in the sticks, cell phones don't work reliably. Oftentimes the phone doesn't even ring; and when it does register a call coming in, we're rarely able to hear a voice on the other end. It's a price we pay for the views. 

I'm a homemaker, so I'm home (and thus without reliable cell service) the majority of the time. It was important that we were able to receive calls at night as well, so we went with the land line (Yes, people still have those) as our primary contact number. For a few months, I was nervous when we left the house and tried to check for messages as soon as possible when I was gone. It wasn't as much about missing the chance for a placement as it was making sure the workers knew they would be able to get in contact with us easily. 

After three months, I called the phone company and learned that we could add call forwarding for a mere three bucks a month. That's a small price for peace of mind! NOW... the challenge has been remembering to forward the phones before I leave home. I've turned around on our driveway more than a few times to be sure that we are available to Children's Division. And several more times, like last weekend, I didn't remember until we were too far away to return.

Today when I was clearing messages from the machine, I heard our licensing worker's voice sandwiched between Noah's birthday greetings, and my heart sank. We'd missed a respite care opportunity. She didn't say if it was a sibling group that we'd had before, and I was glad. I'll be all the more disappointed if I find out it was our trio or the boys. I sure miss those kids- all of them! 

I emailed my regrets to our licensing worker and turned my attention to the pile of kids clothes that I needed to sort through. It is a monumental task to try to have basic necessities on hand for the ages and genders we're open to caring for. So far I'm stocked in girls 3-5 and boys 5-6. I have bits and pieces in the rest of the girls' sizes and almost nothing for the smaller boys. My goal is to have a medium size crate for each size and gender... But I think I'm going to have to live through another yard sale season before it's complete!

Waiting for Sadness

I was asked a while ago how long it took to process the end of our respite turned emergency placement. In our situation, we were waking up every day with the expectation that it would be decision day. We prepared each day to send the boys back to grandpa. Because we had spent a Sunday afternoon with him and knew how much he loved and watched over his grandsons, we really were at peace with them returning. 

It was our first foster placement, so even though I felt that the boys were in good hands with their kinship placement, I wasn't sure how I'd feel after we said goodbye. Sometimes my heart and my head don't see eye to eye. I came home that night and gathered the rest of the boys' belongings to return the next day. I washed bedding and gathered baby items. I washed sippy cups and stored them away. 

And I kept waiting to feel sad. 

But I didn't. I missed the business and the constant excitement around the house. I missed the cuddles of a toddler, missed someone relying on me so completely. I missed big brother bridging the gap between my littles and the way the three of them got along so much better than my two usually do. But I wasn't sad. 

I kept waiting for the sadness, for a week or more. And then I realized that there wasn't going to be a moment when the emotions I'd been holding back broke through. I realized that I didn't have any sadness about the boys leaving. They were loved and they were able to be with family. 

Organic wholesome diets and smoke-free homes are nothing compared to blood. 

The boys will have identity. They will have connections. The will have a little less loss. These are all huge blessings!

Finally, when enough time had passed to be confident that the brothers wouldn't be returning, I asked Amos to dismantle the crib. We returned toys that we'd borrowed from my cousin. And we all began to look forward to the next time we would be able to open our home and our hearts to kids who needed us.

A Birthday, A Getaway, and a Foster Adoption Update

We just got home from a couple days in the city. 

We accidentally entertained our kids to the point of exhaustion, 

but it was SO MUCH FUN! It was 48 hours away from real life and real life issues. J isn't a fan of public pictures anymore (or at least right now), so just imagine a teenager along side the Littles! 

My sweet Noah celebrated his birthday. Eight is a big deal to him. He counted down the days for weeks and dreamed of Skylanders hiding inside brightly colored packages. 

Skylanders didn't appear, but he took the disappointment like a champ. 

Because of his grown up reaction to the disappointment, it was all the more enjoyable to see him open his little sister's present- a gift card to Game Stop to be used for the Disney Infinity system. We're taking video game Mondays to a whole new level around here!

We looked at the snow outside from the indoor pool, lined ourselves in the center of the theatre for the Lego Movie and cashed in the freebie birthday gifts at the mall. $5 for Build-A-Bear, a giant free cookie from Barnes and Noble, and a Lego cube (a promo from my Christmas shopping) to fill with building blocks. 

All free entertainment. 

As for the Foster Adoption Updates: 

Before we left home, we inquired about a little 4 year old who is in need of an adoptive placement. We're excited to hear more about this smiling girl with braided hair. 

It will likely end like our other inquiries have, with loose strings and the farthest thing from a tidy package. 

Like always, we are praying for God's will, not our own. God's plan, not our own. We're praying that this sweetheart is in her forever home soon whether that is with us (which would be so amazing!!) or with another family. 

We also heard from our adoptive worker this week to schedule her first home visit with us. 12 days cannot pass quickly enough! I'm so excited to have a chance to sit down with her and ask our mile-long list of questions. The whole point of the meeting is for her to get to know us and be able to better match us to children who are in need of adoptive homes. THAT is an exciting thought! 

Since the boys left a few weeks ago, I've been sitting on my hands to keep myself from changing our license to accept long term foster placements. We all loved having the boys here, and I felt like we were able to establish a great connection with their grandpa in the few days that they stayed with us. It was a short term emergency placement, just like we'd planned to accept. It worked in reality even better than it had in our imaginations. 

Why not commit to longer placements? 

I'm trying to keep in mind that we prayed through our decision making when we were getting ready to sign our foster care license, but in the back of my mind, there's a little piece of me wondering if that was just a stepping stone on our path to traditional foster care. I've watched God work in His perfect timing to warm us to the idea of adoption, then respite care, then short term foster care. There's nothing to say that this is where we will land. We have some big prayers to pray and lots of listening to do. If we're to settle into our current arrangement, then I'm praying for peace with that. If long term foster care is in my family's future, I trust that God will make that known to us.