Unexpected Adventure: Weekend Respite Care

A blue eyed cutie is asleep in our crib. His older brother with manners that put my kids' to shame is upstairs with Noah and Miriam resurrecting the Tomas the Train set. We're on respite duty this weekend! 

J was set to have a chess tournament today. With nearly a week of snow days, it was canceled at the last minute and left our weekend wide open for some family time. 

Amos and I decided it would be fun to take off, straight from school, no bags packed, on a family adventure. 

We stopped into Amos' office. I plugged my phone in to charge its dead battery. We started to check weather and decide what direction to travel. A kid-oriented resort. Indoor water park. Bunk Beds. A great last minute deal. We were set. As Amos was filling out reservation forms online, my phone sounded its voicemail notification. And just before we booked the weekend journey we'd chosen for ourselves, the voice of our licensing worker took us on an entirely different kind of family adventure. 

Last minute respite care for two brothers. A Monday morning team meeting. Would we take the boys through Monday. If we were open to the possibility of being long term foster care for them, we were invited to come to the meeting as well. 

It was easy to say yes to the boys for the weekend. They fit into our official age and behavior parameters. They fit into our minivan. They fit surprisingly well into our family. 

So here we are, entertaining two sweet boys who may need a new place to call home come Monday.

Needless to say, there will be lots of praying and observing and listening this weekend. We are officially open to short term foster care (up to 30 days) and adoption of children who have already had parental rights terminated. The possibility of long term care wasn't something we had planned for or prepared our kids for. However, God has been working on our kids, and if He wants us to be in the business of long term care, I have faith that He will equip my family for it.

If you find a moment, we would so appreciate any prayers for our discernment, for the hearts of our kids as well as the two sweeties visiting this weekend and their family. 

Catch Up

Quiet months in our home have given me peace about the possibility of huge changes in 2014.  We had a whirlwind Advent. It was more hectic than in years passed. More hectic even though I didn't have my usual girls' holiday trip. Even though I didn't help out with classroom Christmas parties. Even though our new name drawing with my extended family left me with a more simplified shopping list. It was filled to the bring with physical and spiritual preparations for Christ's coming.

This year was our first Christmas without my sweet grandma. I missed our normal quiet Saturday afternoon of dipping buckeyes and coating nut logs with powdered sugar. I missed her final nod of approval after a taste of each recipe. I missed the quiet moments I would have spent sitting beside her recliner. 

But I know she loved all the women gathering in the kitchen to carry on her traditional Christmas candy making. I know she was happy to see her children all gathered together on Christmas Day. She so wanted everyone to keep getting together.

Christmas brought much needed down time. I cuddled my niece and nephew and caught up with my baby sister. J and I organized a group of her friends for a last-minute day in the city. It was so fun to watch the girls ice skate and enjoy their first experience with  fondu. We hosted play dates. I snuck off to the theatre with a mommy friend. We rang in the new year with a bottle of sparkling grape juice. We shared dinner with friends. We got snowed into our little blue house by nearly a foot of snow.

In the middle of all of this life, I find myself ready and anxious to see what God has in store for my little family. We have been blessed with exactly what we needed: a truly peaceful Christmas. Amos and I are more open than ever to God's plan for us. We want the coming months to be filled with lots of "Yes, Lord." and "Here I am, Lord." and "Your will, not our own." We know that a life lived for Christ is where true happiness is found, and we're giving that life our very best (and very flawed) effort. 

In foster adoption news, we are still waiting to learn more about the cute little 7-year-old that we inquired about in early December. We finally received contact from his case worker. Now, at the suggestion of our adoption worker, we are waiting to get his long profile (the one with the real story) before we officially submit our home study. 

Our licensing worker will visit later this week for her quarterly home visit. I couldn't believe it had been three months since we last sat at the dining room table with her. We've had no calls for respite or emergency care. And while I'm feeling excited about helping, I'm keeping in mind that no news is good news when waiting for the foster care call. We are very excited to help but also happy not to be needed. 

Supporting other Foster Families, Foster License, and Waiting Child Inquiry

Our friends from our licensing class received a placement- two girls. We are super excited for them. And we are brokenhearted. You can't exactly celebrate when it was tragedy that expanded their family. So we do what we know how to do. We help. And we listen. I spent the morning going through J's storage clothing for items that would work for the girls. I did laundry. The kids chose books to share. I invited other mommies to help. 

Reading texts from my friend about her girls made me antsy to get our own placement. And it made me want to never get one. Getting a placement means that a child needed us. It means they didn't have a safe place to be. It means a child was hurt in some way and that a major separation had to take place. 

Our license came in the mail the very same day. 

It is beautiful and valuable and precious. 

It is a single sheet of paper, but it signifies years of prayer and listening and waiting. Months of classes. Hours of paperwork. And most importantly our goal and commitment to serve children.


Speaking of that goal, we expressed interest in a sweet 7 year old boy today. This is the first child we've inquired about since being licensed. If this is the child God has planned for our family, that will be amazing!! And if He has other plans, then we're happy to be testing the waters of adopting from foster care. We used AdoptUsKids to inquire, and the form made me realize once again that we're rookies in this area. I didn't know the date of our home study, the official name of our agency, what social worker to write down. Sometimes I need visual aids to find out which already-too-busy person to bug with my question. Inevitably, I contact the wrong one, and she spends precious minutes of her time redirecting me. The email responses are in sharp contrast to the conversations I have with these sweet ladies when we're face-to-face. 

one liners with hardly a period to end them. 

I picture them pouring through endless emails from clueless foster moms like me. I'm trying to take a hint and keep my emails as straightforward as theirs, but I find myself adding chit-chatty remarks like "Sorry to bug you once again..." or "I'm really looking forward to starting this process..." I'm sending a little holiday something to our circle of workers in apology appreciation for their time. 

My Dear Licensing Worker,
Please accept this gift as a pathetic attempt to balance our service to one another. Your willingness to spend your precious moments on my silly questions has not gone unnoticed. 

Your Rookie Foster Mom

Something like that anyway! 

** Just after I published this I got an email from our adoption worker assuring me that my questions were welcome any time and that the adoption process was most definitely a confusing one.  Little emails like that make me feel like part of the social work family.