Someday I'm going to look back on the last two months here in blog land. They will be nearly empty. And I will remember this time in my life as a time when I was learning about service. Service takes on a whole new meaning for me these days, and I am thankful. I am thankful that I wake up five children, most of them grumpy, every weekday morning to prepare for school. I am thankful for the times when I have to help my eight-year-old get dressed in the morning because he just needs someone to do life with him once in a while. I'm thankful for the five hours I have each day to cram in loads (and loads and loads) of laundry, paperwork, errands, and appointments. I am thankful for the hour of rejuvenation I have some afternoons. I am thankful for the drive to pick up my youngest from her school and the much needed one-on-one time it affords her. I am thankful for crazy evenings filled with chores, appointments, practices, games, homework, and lessons. I am thankful for children who need bedtime stories, backs rubbed, and prayers said. I am thankful for teenagers who crave time with me after the younger ones go to sleep. I am thankful for the sheer exhaustion that I feel every night.
In this moment, our life is hectic, complicated, sad, and scary. There are many unknowns, many bridges to cross, mistakes being made, and tears shed. I've watched our bios show signs of stress and begin to work though growing pains. All five of the kids are starting to show their true selves to each other, and with that honestly comes the need to learn how to be post-honeymoon siblings. There are hurt feelings. There are rude comments. There are stolen front seats. There is a frazzled mom who can't find time to cook a real dinner most nights. There is a phenomenal dad who seems to be holding the mom together (honestly, he's amazing) and desperately needs a day to himself.
In all this coming apart, there is a foundation of trust being built. Every time a disagreement resolves itself, we get to show the kids that we're committed, that we're not going to ask them to leave because they have a bad day... or week. In all this coming apart, there is Christ, and there is LOVE. There is FOREVER.