Watching our son walk around the corner toward us was every bit as awe-inspiring as giving birth, and our first hours together were every bit as awkward yet perfect as those with our newborns. There were scared eyes and stiff backs, there were periods of silence that weren't so comfortable. There was a string of simple questions and answers shot across a table of ice cream. And then- THEN- there was a moment when I was able to mother him, and he was grateful. A sparkle in his big searching eyes. And a genuine giggle of delight. As soon as we broke through the discomfort, it was time to say goodbye.
As we walked toward our new daughter, I saw a glimpse of shyness that was so much like her brother. I had to hold myself back from turning into a sappy mess right there under the heat of the summer sun. This was my daughter, the one I'd been praying over and working for for I offered a simple hug. We drove an awkward five minutes to the coffee shop that Amos and I frequent, ordered, and sat down to visit. The two hour visit was much like a first date, lots of get-to-know-you conversations and stories and a few awkward moments. We dropped her off after a quick photo to commemorate the day, and that was it.
I'd like to spend some time reflecting and forming words from my emotions, but life is a whirlwind of mothering, home reorganization, kids' schedules, housework, and school year preparations.
|Teenage Organization-- if only it could stay like this forever!|
For now, my quiet time is all but obsolete, and that is ok. This is what it means to welcome children to your family-- functioning on less sleep than any person should, realizing that it is 2:00 and you have yet to eat a bite, and resenting the 30 minutes that it takes to become half-presentable in the morning.
|Three of our seven bracelets|
My life right now is filled with giving my three kids who were already here voices and validation, managing attention-seeking behaviors, and offering praise and cuddles any chance I can find.
I'm feeling the need to find care for them while I work but an unwillingness to send them away from me. My life right now has a business that is truly more than I have ever known
|Quick trip to visit Aunt J!|