Monday, April 7, 2014

Fear and My Own Broken Promises

We’re praying our way through the inquiry process of 7 and 13 year old siblings that God has planted in our hearts. I’ll be honest. It’s terrifying to think of starting to parent/build trust/love a kid that late in the game! The fear is paralyzing. I'm supposed to make a call to the kids' worker to set up meetings with their foster parents for more information. I can't quite make myself pick up the phone. 

Here's the kicker. I felt something with these two. Not "Oh, they're beautiful!" Although they most definitely are! Not the "I want to scoop them up because their stories are sad." Although I do, and they are. In my heart of hearts, I felt that this time was for real

I promised myself things over and over in the last couple years. We would never foster. We wouldn't get attached to a kid before we were chosen as their adoptive placement. We wouldn't entertain legal-risk placements. We wouldn't consider older children. Oh, the things I promised! 

One by one, I've let go of every promise I made to myself... and now we're standing with one promise left- 
Follow God's plan and don't box him in.

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