Monday, March 10, 2014

Placeholder

The nights have been rough for Big Sister. I switch between empathizing with her fear of sleeping in her bed and knowing that I must get sleep at some point to be a good mommy when the sun is up. 

Every fiber of my 3AM self wants to scoop her up into bed with me a sleep until morning. 

BUT, that is not the foster care way. The foster care way is a dozen walks across a pitch black house, a thousand seconds of back rubs, singing a lullaby until the voice is as lost as the mind. And loving the beautiful girl who is so lost and hungry for her own momma to cuddle her to sleep. 

She settles for me, and I am ever humbled to be the placeholder. 

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