Friday, May 22, 2009

Dr. Laura Wisdom

Getting my daily dose of Dr. Laura this afternoon, I listened to a mother call about her daughter who was planning to have sex with her new and very casual boyfriend.  The mother wanted a new way to try to get through to her daughter.  Dr. Laura's ever direct advice included most of what I expected.  Then she added something I haven't heard her say before: 

Tell your daughter that when she orgasms, she should think to herself, 'This is all there is.'

I was never one to feel guilt-free about pushing physical boundaries with boyfriends; I was, if anything, the opposite.  I find it impossible to believe that there are more than a handful of young girls who truly value that 10 seconds of toe-curling pleasure enough to dismiss any need for commitment, namely marriage.  I mean, I'll take one any day, but would I put myself at risk for STD's or single motherhood for one?  Not a chance.  I think Dr. Laura's words just might have gotten through to me at 15, when I let myself be guilted into sex.  So many girls stupidly believe that there's more to sex with a boyfriend than sex with a boyfriend.  But it does not build intimacy, rather tears the seams of the relationship however child-like it may be.  It does not prove love, rather proves that no respect need be paid.  It does not build a level of comfort in a relationship, rather creates paranoia of unwanted pregnancy or disease.  Only when marital sex is experienced can a person truly comprehend God's purpose for creating it.

I pray that I will never have a daughter who values an orgasm more than her health, her emotions, her future, her God.  I pray also for the courage to speak with such bluntness to my daughters and son, to be a tell-it-like-it-is parent, always loving, always honest.  


Marie said...

Great Post. We don't get Dr Laura over here. It must be so difficult to have teenage daughters today. I know that the first time I had sex with a boy it was because I felt guilted into it and it was not the be all and end all that I had thought it would be. It was actually rather disappointing.

Mrs. Haid said...

"That's all there is".

Woah! I think that phrase would be the perfect guilt-antivenom.

I think it would work for a girl who has hadn't had sex yet or feels unsatisfied by her relationship and is looking to grow it by being intimate.

But it definately wouldn't work for a girl who has the end goal of feeling good as her reason for sex. As in, lots of the high school and college girls I knew/know. And I am not sure that advice would work for someone who is married, either... because sometimes that IS enough.

But wow, what am honest, concise response.

And I can't believe that the mom knew her daughter was going to have casual sex for the first time. How did the daughter trust her mother enough with that information, but didn't know what her mother's opinion of it would be? I see a real disconnect. Its so different than the life I lived and my relationship with my parents!