Friday, April 3, 2009


I've been realizing how different some people's worlds are than mine lately.  Years ago, my opinions and values fell somewhere in the grey area between black and white, but now I have very solid opinions and views of how life should be lived.  I'll be the first to admit that I fail to live up to my own standards sometimes, but for the most part, I believe that I back my morals by standing up for them.  It truly amazes me that the world can be seen from an infinite number of viewpoints.

I was blog-browsing this evening and ran across a working mom blog that I thought would be interesting to read.  One entry in particular caught my attention.  It was an explanation of why this mom worked.  I read the words she had written and was so taken aback.  While expressing how much she hated leaving her kids in a daycare every morning, she wanted to give her children opportunities in life.  Huh.  My heart went out to this mother who felt like the best she had to offer her children was summer camps, violin lessons, and an ivy league education.  Of course, I know that some homes truly cannot function on the salary of one parent, but I really think that too often it is the difficulty of changing a lifestyle that keeps both parents at work.  Sometimes it may mean giving up a house that offers a room for each child.  Sometimes it means giving up private education and making a commitment to supplement with extra attention to education at home.  Sometimes staying home to raise children means giving up some ties to the professional world, going a day conversing with no one but a 3-year-old.  

It is my hope that my children never have to feel my absence in their lives.  I my hope that I am always there to pick them up from school and ask how their day was.  I hope that I know the friends of my children, and the parents of those children.  I hope that my home is one known for responsible adult supervision of play dates and parties.  I hope that my children grow up not being able to fathom choosing opportunity over family and commitment.  I want my girls to be able to give up a career to raise their children with no remorse.  I want my son to want a wife who, should they have children, will ambitiously take on her role as mom.  


Anonymous said...

Would you be upset if your girls did not make the choice of giving up their careers to raise children?

How are you going to share this viewpoint with them?

Kelley said...

Those are great questions!

I don't mind if my girls choose a career over having children, but I believe that you should commit to raising children to the best of your ability if you have them. Yes, I'd be disappointed if they chose to keep a career instead of being there full time for their children just as I'd be disappointed if they shack up out of wedlock or loose their virginity before marriage.

As far as sharing the viewpoint, I already share with my 8 year old the importance of a mommy or daddy being there to pick her up from school, spend the summers exploring the world with her, and mommy having attention and energy to focus on the kids in the evenings. I tell her that being able to stay home with kids is important just as being married before she has children is. The topic is as common in our con.versations as the importance of God, education, respect, or any other values that I want to instill in her The best I can do is pray and be the best mom that I can be. If I can be a valuable force in their lives, it's my hope that they will grow up appreciating the role of a stay-at-home mom instead of connecting it to laziness and submission to a husband.

Chrissy said...

Good stuff, Kelley. I'm encouraged every time I read your blog. :o)