Saturday, April 25, 2009

Game On

Friday, I reached my limit.  My dear son displayed the worst behavior I've seen from him thus far.  Hitting, screaming, and yelling, "I HATE YOU!!" were only the tip of his performance.  Who knows what set him off; all that I'm sure of is that I found a mommy in me that I didn't think was there- or that I hoped I wouldn't have to meet.  After mad dash baby-proofing the house, I took the hellion into my room, held his hands to keep him from throwing a fist toward me, and waited out the storm.  I felt like Anne Sullivan taming Helen Keller.  I refused to move or acknowledge him, refused to let him go in spite of his horrendous fit.  After 30 minutes, he finally settled down enough to apologize.  

This morning, we had a round two when he was told to pick up the board game he'd been playing with.  As soon as his fit started to escalate, into the bedroom we went.  This time it only took 5 minutes of storm for him to decide he'd rather put the game away than be stuck there trying to fight to get a swing at me.  We didn't have another problem today.

Myself along with other mommies often seek advice for raising our children.  We look for a new approach when we can't seem to produce results with our parenting.  Sometimes, we truly need advice, but other times, I think we just need someone to say, "Find your self-discipline and stay on your game."  There is no way in the world I can pretend that I am 100% consistent in disciplining my kids.  If I'm in the middle of something important or timely, like dinner or a phone call, they know that it's a good time to try to get away with something.  If my patience is wearing thin, I sometimes choose to pretend not to notice mild misbehaving instead of flying off the handle because I'm about to pull my hair out.  

I'm reminded that raising my children isn't just a fun thing I get to do.  It's a JOB, and I have responsibilities to fulfill just like I did when I was working for an employer.  There is a difference between a mom who stays home with her kids and a mom who stays home to RAISE her kids.  The mom who stays home with her kids is the type who does what she pleases and tends to the basic needs of her kids.  She provides entertainment for them in the form of toys or videos, feeds them lunch, changes, bathes, and cleans up after them.  The mommy who stays home to RAISE her kids is actively involved in their daily life.  She acts as a leader of play and learning, and her attention is focussed on her children rather than her own interests.  No, her interest IS her children!  

Oh, how I hope to consistently be the mom who is raising her kids!  I hope that weeks like these last few- when I'm swamped with tasks outside my mommy duties- are not the ones that stick in my kids' minds.  


Mrs. Haid said...

Super Nanny would def. approve of your Helen Keller approach and consistancy.

But... yuck. That sucks. Where is Super Nanny when you'd rather not see that side of your child???

Tina said...

I am shocked, as we discussed before, I have never seen this side of him - and it hard for me to imagine him like this!!!
I am glad you have found a way to handle this and it seems to be proving effective!!!

I hope to be raising my children too, but sometimes I know that I am not. There are weeks when work at home overtakes things or I am so overwhelmed that sticking on a video while I catch up is necessary- but the end of this post really got me thinking....

Rock U Momma said...

I appreciate the definition of Raising your children. It definitely hits home! Thank you for the reminder of what it takes to be a good Mamma!